


Sunshine of My Heart

by jasmage



Category: Skip Beat!
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmage/pseuds/jasmage
Summary: Inspired by the prompt: "Playing house but I got way to into it and kissed you passionately oops"(First two chapters have been revised!)





	1. As Tall as a T-Rex

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which their imagination is just a bit too strong.

Kyoko had been working at this daycare for almost two years now with no problems at all. She loved the children, the children loved her. She could manage them just fine, her schedule went perfectly with working hours at the daycare and everything was great. Until the day Moko, or, Ms. Kotonami, the director of the daycare was sick and sent her cousin to manage things for her. Kyoko had been shocked, walking into the coffee room to see a tall, _very handsome_ man filling her personal cup with a dancing hamburger steak on it, with coffee as if he had done it a million times. She’d stood in the doorway and watched as he blew on the coffee in _her mug_ and drank, his adam’s apple bobbing. He didn’t sit down on any of the coloured plastic chairs around the white round table at the centre of the room, instead opting to lean casually with his back against the grey counter that was attached to the white-tiled wall. He wore the daycare’s white shirt with its little sun logo in the top left corner and beige jeans. He seemed too tall for the small, square room, with his long legs stretched out in front of him. She saw that if he reached up with his arm, he probably could have touched the ceiling with a bit of stretching. She admired his handsome figure for another moment and then blushed, realizing what she was doing.

_You have Sho! What are you doing, admiring another man’s figure?!_

She walked in and dropped her purse on a red chair and said casually (or so she hoped), “Do you like my mug?”  
He started and glanced down at the cup in his hand and back at her, saying, “Sorry, I thought all the cups were shared!”  
“They are, but usually we all stick to one cup. Didn’t Ms. Kotonami tell you?”  
She wondered at the handsome man. Why hadn’t she seen Moko yet if they were training a new employee today?

Straightening, the man faced her fully and said, “Ms. Kotonami is my cousin. She’s sick today so I’m just helping run things while she’s resting. My name is Tsuruga Ren. My cousin also told me a ‘Mogami Kyoko’ could be relied on for most of the things happening but she just wanted me here as an extra helping hand.”

Kyoko processed the information. If he was replacing Moko, that meant he was her senior, even if apparently she was the one that would be doing most of the daycare running today. Kyoko bowed and when she raised herself up again, said while sticking out her hand, “Hello, I am the ‘reliable’ Mogami Kyoko. I’ve worked here for almost two years and look forward to working with you today, Tsuruga.” 

He smiled and shook her hand, “I’ll be relying on you today Mogami. Thanks for your help in advance.”  
She almost melted at having his smile directed towards her and lightly yanked her hand out of his grip.  
“The children will be arriving in around half an hour so let’s start setting up.”

They worked well together, and even though Ren claimed it was only his second time helping out at the daycare, he did everything right and efficiently. Soon they were done and Kyoko sat behind the front desk as Ren leaned over the counter to talk to her.

The daycare took up two rooms in a community centre. The actual daycare space for children to play, learn, sing, and do whatever in, and the coffee room. Walking in through the door, to the right was where Kyoko and Ren were currently chatting, at the front desk where Kyoko handled any drop-ins and paper-work in general. To the left was the play area that was covered with blue carpet with a pattern of rocket ships. Facing the door and behind Kyoko was the wall that was divided into shelf space for boxes of different toys and books and windows that looked out over the park. There was a door in the corner that led out to the playground too. Adjacent to the door was a wall of coat racks for the kids to hang their backpacks and anything else. The walls were white but colourful, due to all the posters and art projects covering them. 

“You’re four years younger than me?” exclaimed Ren with a laugh, tipping his chin into his chest as his forearms rested on the counter.  
Kyoko didn’t fail to notice the muscle definition in his arms, as his weight leaned forward in that motion. She laughed as well and said,  
“Why, did you think I was younger?”  
“No! You’re so good at your job I thought you were only three years younger than me at most. Are you in school right now?”

Kyoko was 20 and not in school. After graduating, she’d quit school to work full time, not because of money issues regarding school, but to support her boyfriend’s superstar dream. Getting a scholarship to the university she’d wanted to go to wouldn’t have been impossible but she was convinced out of it after seeing Sho and his parents argue about who would fund his dream. But, for some reason she didn’t want to tell Ren any of these things. Ren, a guy who was aiming to get a masters in language- something or other, at his school. But, Kyoko was nothing if not honest. Then again, that didn’t mean she had to tell him all the details. 

“Nope, I’m not in school right now.”  
“Oh, are you taking a break?”  
“Nope again! I’m working full time to support the dream of my b-”she inhaled and smiled, taking a breath and recrossing her legs as she leaned on her elbows, pushing her face a bit closer to his. “Of my friend, so he can become a big superstar!” she said with a very sweet and too loud laugh. She hoped he’d take it as a joke.

Ren’s brows furrowed, “Kyoko- “

Just then, an adorable pair of twins walked in, holding there mother’s hands. 

Kyoko stood up quickly, her head almost slamming into Ren’s nose in the process.  
“Hi Luna! Hey Johnny! Hello Mrs. Koenji, how are you all today?”  
Mrs. Koenji smiled at Kyoko and said, “Hi Mogami and friend of Mogami!” Mrs. Koenji winked very obviously at Kyoko when she said that.  
Ren stifled a laugh as he led the young twins to the play area and Kyoko (unsuccessfully) fought the blush rising up her cheeks.  
“We’re good, thanks. I see we’re the first ones here for once! Where’s Ms.Kotonami?”  
Kyoko sat back down in her chair, saying, “Good to hear! And unfortunately Ms.Kotonami is sick today so her cousin is replacing her.” she waved at Tsuruga who was handling the two twins wonderfully. She wondered how he’d fare once ten more little devils- she meant angels, were added on.

“Well I hope you two will be able to manage today. I heard Mrs.Maruyama has to take her dog to the vet so she’s dropping her triplets off today and that her triplets were supposed to play with Mr. Sawara’s kids today so you might have a couple more kids coming than usual. Oh well, you guys have fun! Thanks again for taking care of Luna & Johnny!”

Kyoko’s eye had barely finished twitching before Mrs.Koenji was out the door, with her designer purse flung over her shoulder and Prada perfume wafting behind her.

Kyoko’s brain was moving quickly, though.  
_Crap. Three of Maruyama’s kids plus 3 of Sawara’s kids so six more kids. Ren and I handle eight each? No, that won’t work he doesn’t know what to do if something happens. I should call in Amamiya or Maria to help out. But they’re both busy today!! Who else? Okay Kyoko just list out your options first then see how many kids there are, then make a decision._

Kyoko never got a chance to list out her options, though because soon a steady stream of parents were coming and so she did her job while hoping and praying Moko would suddenly, miraculously get over her cold and arrive.  
No luck.

By 8AM, no further help (nor kids, thank goodness) had turned up and Ren looked like he was drowning in kids that were all eager to get there hands on the new hottie- she meant helper.

After leaving Ren to deal with the 16 kids (because suddenly Mrs.Makino had decided to drop in as well) on his own for a several minutes longer, Kyoko finally emerged from behind the front desk whose stupid smiling sunshine had been grinning annoyingly cheerily at Ren, as his own smile turned more and more pained. There was no end to the children’s grabbing it seemed. Their little palms sweaty and everywhere as he tried- really tried, to play with them altogether.

Kyoko clapped her hands in a peculiar rhythm, then sang a magical rhyme that finally quieted the children, to Ren’s immense relief. 

“Good morning little sunshines! I see you’ve all already met Ren! Isn’t he tall?”

“Yeah!” shouted one kid whose name might’ve been Joe or Jacky “He’s tall like the tree in my backyard!”  
“No,” shouted the kid’s twin, “He’s taller!”  
“He’s as tall as my uncle Tiger!”  
“He’s as tall as a rocketship!”  
“He’s as tall as- as- as an ephelant!”

Kyoko laughed and the children beamed, seemingly proud to have made her happy. Ren was happy too, when he saw her laugh. She was very beautiful when she smiled and laughed.

“He could be! Now kids, I need you guys to be on your best behaviour today because you see, there’s only me and Ren, that makes how many people?”  
“Two!” shouted kid #7  
“Yes, you’re right Kenny. There’s only two of us and 16 of you guys!”  
Ren inhaled sharply. He didn’t like the 16 to two ratio.  
“That means you guys could all probably squash us if you tried! Now, me and Ren don’t want to be squashed, and you guys want to go play on the playground, right?”  
“Yeah!” said the chorus of children.  
“So you guys need to be really good today, then this can all work out. If not, I’m going to have to summon Electroman!”  
All the children gasped and Ren wondered who the hell was electroman and if he was going to have to put on a costume. Kyoko winked at him and he smiled, breathing out through his nose in a huff.

“Okay then let’s get started!”

They day progressed smoothly and Ren was tall and acted as a beacon so rallying the kids was easy that day. Kyoko even started saying,  
“Okay everyone, gather around T-Ren!” as a joke because according to the kids, he was tall as a T-Rex. At the end of the day, most of the kids had left, leaving only Kenny, Kyoko and Ren. His mother had called and apologised for the inconvenience, saying she was stuck in traffic and would be there as soon as possible.

“It’s okay Mrs.Sudo we’ll take care of Kenny. You drive safely, alright?” Kyoko had said half an hour ago. 

Now, after exhausting most of they toys and other forms of entertainment, the three of them were playing house together. Kenny had doled out the roles with his little fist on his hip and pointed at each of them saying,  
“Okay, I’m the dad, Miss Kyoko is my daughter and Mr. T-Ren is her boyfriend. And this,” he had said, running over to the ‘broken toys’ box and picking out a yellow giraffe that was missing one eye and leaked stuffing from one of its legs  
“This guy is electroman.”  
Kyoko had stifled a laugh and Ren glanced over at her. Throughout the day he hadn’t gotten a chance to ask who exactly ‘electroman’ was. According to information gathered from the children, he was tall, (but shorter than him) with blonde hair (that wasn’t his namesake) and the tattoo of a lighting bolt on his left pectoral. Electroman sometimes appeared and stole ‘Miss Kyoko’ away and no one in the daycare liked him. Ren wondered if it was Kyoko’s boyfriend and found an… unpleasant feeling at the thought.

According to Kenny, the story was that Electroman had captured Kyoko, the woman Ren loved and Kenny had gone to Ren asking him to join him in saving Kyoko. They were now nearing the climax of the story and apparently Kenny had been killed tragically by a dragon that ate him, but Ren had slayed to avenge him. Kenny was now acting the part of Electroman, who was having an epic and awesome magic battle with Ren, complete with fireballs and dragon controlling. Kyoko was trying to sneakily use her own magic spells to help Ren at the same time. 

**In the realm of their imaginations…**  
The dark stone cavern was set aglow only by the fireballs Electroman and the Knight Ren of Beef Burger Land threw at one another and the shining blue wisps of the disappearing spells Princess Kyoko threw from her fingers at Electroman’s magic thunderdogs that kept trying to eat Knight Ren. Princess Kyoko stuttered a syllable of her disappearance incantation and instead, brought eight more thunderdogs back to life!

“No!” cried Princess Kyoko, grasping onto the iron bars of her cage to the side of the round dome-like cavern.

She was already distraught from her father dying and did not want to see her true love be killed by fire as well. Electroman loomed above them all, and his missing eye made him all the more intimidating. Knight Ren stopped throwing fireballs for a moment and did two backflips as he slid his sword out from the scabbard and slayed 3 thunderdogs at once. Electroman screamed in rage and Knight Ren took the chance to throw his flaming sword at his neck. Electroman exploded with a BOOM and a CRASH as the enchanted sword met contact with his skin. The father’s ghost rose from his body and said to Knight Ren,  
“Quickly!! Make a thunderdog bite the cage, then the princess can be rescued!”  
The knight magicked up a lasso of fire, ignored the fact that holding fire with a metal glove technically should melt his hand off, and looped it around the last thunderdog’s neck. The dog bit one of the bars of the cage and the cage disappeared in a flurry of sparkles. Both the knight and the princess were reunited at last, after his long harrowing quest and even though the corpse of the knight’s king, the princess’s father, lay behind them his soul hovered with them and said, “True love’s kiss will make everything the way it should be.” and they kissed.


	2. As Distant as Childhood Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they go back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy reading!

**Back to reality…**

Ren and Kyoko looked into each other’s eyes, smiling as they faced each other on their knees on the soft carpet, their arms around each other’s waists. Kenny stood beside them and said, “True love’s kiss will make everything the way it should be.” 

Kyoko raised her arms to loop around Ren’s neck and leaned forward. Ren’s eyes widened in shock, but Kyoko, with her eyes still closed, still in the moment and trapped in her imagination, kissed Ren as if he really was her magic knight in shining armour, her true love. Her lips were soft and wonderful against his and he fell into the moment with her, until suddenly someone coughed in the doorway. 

Kyoko opened her eyes, inhaled sharply and all but threw herself back and away from Ren, landing a good meter away from where he still kneeled on the carpet. Kyoko’s flushed face is too adorable, thought Ren.  
He kisses really well, thought Kyoko.  
_He kisses too well!!! Is he a con-man?! In front of Kenny, too!_

The back of Kyoko’s right fist, pressed against her lips (as if trying to trap the feeling there) and her other palm and butt were still on the carpet as Kyoko and Ren stared at one another with wide, wide eyes and shock. Kenny on the other hand, was staring at the scene intruder, also known to him as Electroman.

“Electroman’s here! Knight Ren do something!” squealed Kenny as he ran behind Kyoko.  
Ren blinked and twisted, and saw ‘Electroman’ in the doorway. A guy that was indeed tall, but shorter than him, with blonde hair, and what looked like a lightning bolt tattoo, showing through his ‘stylishly’ shredded black shirt.  
_It looks like a thunderdog got his claws into that shirt_ thought Ren.

“Just thought you might want to know Mrs.Sudo just parked. Since you guys looked… occupied.” The guy said with a sneer and then strolled into the coffee room.

Ren glanced back at Kyoko who looked devastated for a moment and he knew in that moment that whatever ‘moment’ they’d had was over now that… Electroman was there. Kyoko’s devastation was only for a millisecond though, and then a business smile was plastered on so quickly Ren wondered if he’d imagined it. It was only the slight breathlessness with which she spoke, and the stutter at the beginning of her sentence that confirmed what Ren had seen.

“K-Kenny, why don’t you go get your stuff? I think your mom’s going to be here soon.”  
Kenny nodded and ran over and started putting his bright green jacket on. Kyoko got up and so Ren got up too, and when he saw Kyoko slightly startled by him, took a step back and said, “I’ll start cleaning up, alright?”  
She nodded, not meeting his eyes and went over to Kenny, kneeling by him.

“Kenny, it was fun playing today, right?”  
“Yeah Miss Kyoko!”  
“We played an interesting story at the end, yeah?”  
“Yep!”  
Kyoko took a deep breath like she was going to say something more, and then just ruffled Kenny’s hair and walked him to the front where they met up with his mom. Ren listened to the conversation as he cleaned up the last of the toys.  
“I’m so sorry I arrived late! The traffic was garbage!” said a voice. “I’m sorry Miss Kyoko. You know the drive from across town can be such a pain! I really wish you guys would move your daycare.”  
Kyoko laughed, “It’s okay, Kenny was great and no problem at all. But Mrs. Sudo, don’t you still have to pick up Andy?”  
“Oh my goodness you’re right!”  
Ren heard the jingle of car keys and a distant, “Thank you so much!” and then the door slammed shut.

The sound of Kyoko’s sneaker scuffing the floor by the the door was loud, as if she were dragging herself back to the playroom where he was. He sighed.He’d enjoyed her company so much today, and didn’t want her walls to go back up. He already missed their easy bantering.

“Wow, you clean up fast.”

Ren looked up at her with his arms full of toys and grinned. Kyoko blinked and looked away hastily, and his smile drooped as he looked away as well and dropped the toys back into their box. The toys wouldn’t fit into the box,so the lid wouldn’t close. Ren knelt by it and tried awkwardly for 5 minutes to shift the toys this way and that to make them fit. Finally, he heard a huff and then,  
“Do you want some help?”  
He looked over his shoulder at her, and saw that she was talking not at him, but rather the wall behind him. He smiled and said, “Yes, please.” all the same.  
She knelt down and took the toys out, putting them back in with a system she was clearly very familiar with. 

“Why didn’t you tell Kenny not to say anything to his mother?”

Kyoko looked up at him in surprise. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear she said,  
“Well, I figured if I mentioned it to him it would only make him think about it more and honestly, Kenny’s parents aren’t really the type to listen to him when he talks. They don’t ask him about what goes on at the daycare, either. They have four other kids to think of and each kid has their own stuff to do. I always wonder if Kenny is lonely.”  
“Were you a lonely kid?”  
“No she wasn’t, because she had me.” interrupted a voice. 

Ren and Kyoko stood up and looked at Electroman. 

“Aren’t you done yet Kyoko? It’s already half an hour past when you’re usually done. I could be home working on my music right now. Next time if you’re going to take this long just bike home, okay.”

Kyoko glanced at Ren then said to Electroman, “Sorry Sho I’ll be another 5 minutes, max.”  
Ren looked at Kyoko with wide eyes  
_Five minutes? They still had to sweep the floor and mop the tables, set the security code and lock up…_  
Kyoko looked at Ren and said, “Can you please wipe the tables? I’ll handle the rest.”  
Her eyes though, seemed to say, “You think I can’t do it? Watch me and don’t get in my way.”  
And then she was off. Ren had never seen someone hustle so much. Floor was swept and clean in 1 minute flat. As she strode past him to put away the broom, she said, “Ms. Kotonami isn’t sick so you can stare at me!”  
And Ren started wiping the tables quickly. Luckily the kids hadn’t done any glue-involved arts and crafts projects today, so there were only crumbs. When he finished his part, Kyoko was already standing by the door with her jacket, purse and keys in hand. He walked out after her and watched as ‘Sho’ walked to the car they were _both_ taking to their _shared home_...

When Kyoko started to walk away to Sho’s car, he grabbed her wrist gently and she turned around, a bit surprised.  
“I think we need to talk about what happened today.”  
She looked down at the ground and winced a bit, her shoulders seeming to curve slightly inwards.

 _Oh my goodness oh my goodness I hope he’s not going to fire me._  
She turned around to face Ren properly and once again was hit by how tall he was. He towered over her, but even so, his presence never felt intimidating or overwhelming.

“Are you going to fire me? For the...”  
_Kiss…_  
He blinked and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning forwards slightly so her neck wasn’t craning as much.  
“No, of course not. I was just hoping you weren’t feeling too uncomfortable with what happened. I got kind of carried away and I’m sorry if this causes you any inconvenience. If my cousin says anything, I’ll tell her it was all my fault.”  
“Oh no, no I’m sorry it was my fault too- I got very carried away as well…” She blushed and ducked her head.  
Ren smiled fondly down at her.  
“Seriously though, if my cousin gives you any trouble, or if you just feel like it, anytime, give me a call. Do you have your phone with you right now? I’ll give you my number.”

Kyoko’s eyes widened from beneath her curtain of hair.  
_THE ATTRACTIVE HANDSOME MAN HERE WANTS TO GIVE ME HIS NUMBER STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM_

“Y-yeah I’ve got my phone, here let me just-”  
Ren slid his hands softly down her arms a bit and then released them as she fished around her purse for a bit and finally pulled out a nokia flip phone. She glanced at his iphone s6 and then at her nokia and laughed. Ren glanced down at their phones and started laughing as well. 

“The only reason why I have a phone like this is because the dictionary app is really useful. Otherwise, I’d probably still have a nokia flip phone.” Ren said with a smile.

“I actually only got this phone recently, and it was because Sho- well Electroman as you know him,” she said, with a cheeky smile while looking up at him.  
“Electroman got too annoyed with communication problems between us.”

Ren thought back to the iphone s6 he had seen in Sho’s hands and wondered not for the first time at the relationship between her and Sho. They exchanged numbers and then unable to resist any longer, Ren asked,  
“So how long have you and Sho been dating?”  
Kyoko’s face flamed and she laughed quickly and erratically.  
“Dating? Oh, well...  
_Our relationship is falling apart_  
Almost 2 years now, I guess!”  
_Not that we’ve so much as hugged for 6 months now…_  
. “We were childhood friends and now we’re just trying to live in this big city together.”  
_Now I’m just trying to hold this relationship together enough that I have a reason to stay in this city._  
She finished with a sad smile as she glanced in the direction of the car. Ren looked too and saw Sho staring at them. Ren stared at Kyoko for a bit, and she felt as if he was seeing right through her.

“Well I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t cause any trouble for your relationship. You have my number, so he can call me anytime and I will insist on your innocence. We can blame it all on Kenny.” He finished with a laugh, and was glad to hear Kyoko giggle.  
“I really did enjoy your company, though so feel free to call me anytime if you-”  
_Break up with your jerk boyfriend_  
“-ever want to hangout. Unless you don’t want to?”  
Ren gave her a sincere smile, hoping and hoping and hoping that she would say yes.  
Kyoko was breathless for a moment and her mind went back to the kiss they’d shared. Her mind went back to the conversations they’d had today and how much fun it had been talking to him and how when dealing with the kids, sometimes he’d just known what she’d wanted done without her ever saying. Her mind went to all the times Sho was rude and had ignored her. It went to her childhood with Sho and as if he knew she was thinking of him, Sho picked that moment to slam his hand onto the steering wheel and blast the empty parking lot with the sound of his car horn.

She started and Ren put a gentle hand on her shoulder, while turning to glare at Sho. Inside the car, even from six feet away, Sho felt the weight of the glare and lasted only two seconds before he removed his hand from the car horn. The glare had been cold enough to have frozen over the Arctic all over again and saved the world from global warming. A startling contrast to the warmth Sho had seen Ren gazing at Kyoko with not a minute ago.

“I think I have to go.” said Kyoko, her eyes not meeting Ren’s.  
He squeezed her shoulder gently and she looked up at him.  
“Okay. I hope you call me when you have the chance.” he said with a gentle smile, and then he let go.

She walked softly but quickly to Sho’s car and when she sat down, her hand reached unconsciously to her mouth, her fingers resting lightly on her lips. Kyoko was thinking, for the 50th time that evening of the kiss she’d shared with Tsuruga Ren. Sho grabbed that hand and used it to pull Kyoko towards him. Their lips slammed together as Sho kissed Kyoko fiercely. One of his hands gripped Kyoko’s wrist and the other pressed on the back of her head. Her heartbeat had just started speeding up when Sho let go of her, turning in his seat, preparing to drive. 

“What was that Sho?”  
“A reminder for you that you have a boyfriend. Who was that guy that you kissed today anyway?” asked Sho as he backed out of the parking spot.  
“His name’s Tsuruga Ren but the kiss really isn’t what it looked like! What happened was that-.” Kyoko said, gazing out the window to Ren who walked to his car and stepped in.  
“Save it. I’m not in the mood for your stories right now. What does he do?”  
“He’s studying in school. But Sho really just let me explain-”  
Sho’s snort cut her off.  
“Let’s go home.”  
Kyoko was silent for the rest of the ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 and chapter 2 were actually in 1 google doc but I didn't want u guys to read like 10pgs all at once lol so I split em. tfw ur so desperate for skip beat content u actually make ur own for once ;D


	3. As Convincing as Bullshit

Sho parked the car and him and Kyoko got out. He locked the old grey 1991 honda civic that had four seats, but only two doors. Sho had been so happy when she’d first bought it, thanking her, showering her with hugs and praises, and asking where she’d gotten the money. Kyoko had just smiled, hoping the cheap concealer she’d bought hid the bags under her eyes. Sho didn’t need to know she’d actually picked up a third job, tutoring people through the internet. He just needed to focus on his dream and he couldn’t do that if he was worrying for her. He wouldn’t be happy if he knew what she’d done. 

Now it didn’t matter whether Kyoko wore concealer or not; if she came home with torn jeans and a missing shoe (which she had, one time when she’d accidentally revealed to her ‘friend’- a coworker who’d turned out to be an insane Sho fan- that she had Sho’s guitar from his childhood). Sho just never noticed her unless his food was late, or he needed something. Kyoko knew it was because he was very focused on achieving stardom, but it still hurt sometimes. On the other hand, the man she’d met today had seemed to notice everything about her. From the colour of her hair, to the smallest breath she took. 

_I have his number. I can text him. Should I text him?_  
_He wanted me to call him though… Should I call him? Texting usually goes before calling though?_

“Are you thinking about that guy, Kyoko?”  
Kyoko’s head snapped up and she almost fell up the stairs, but Sho caught her. She’d been so consumed by thoughts of Ren, she hadn’t even realised they were almost to their floor.  
Sho and Kyoko lived in a small 6-floor apartment. There was an elevator, but Sho always insisted on taking the stairs to keep up his “rock-star physique”. Kyoko didn’t mind. She really didn’t, she’d insisted to Sho when they’d first moved in; even when the 6-floor climb was after 15 hours of work, on 3 hours of sleep.

Their shared apartment was always cold because of the eternally blasting aircon, and smelled like vanilla air-freshener, so it was slightly sweet smelling all the time. Its sugary scent only strengthened whenever Sho or Kyoko ate a pudding cup from the mountainous amount they had stored away. 

Sho helped Kyoko right herself, his hands firmly grasping her arms.  
“You could have been injured, Kyoko. Watch where you’re going.”  
His hands gripped her elbows, as her arms rested at her sides. She looked up at Sho, slightly dazed, reeling from one boy haze to another. Sho was so close to her. He looked so concerned. He was so warm. When was the last time he’d even touched her? Patted her on the shoulder, grabbed her hand, stroked her head- anything?  
_No wonder that Tsuruga guy affected me so much. It’s not that we have a bond- it’s just that Sho has been too busy for me these days! How could I even think about calling Ren. How could I…_

Kyoko smiled up at Sho. “Thanks Sho, you really saved me there!”  
Then she grabbed her keys and unlocked the door for them both. They were… home. She was... home? For some reason, that word no longer felt right.

Kyoko held the door open as Sho strode in and took off his shoes. She shut and locked the door with a weary sigh, as she rolled her neck and shoulders a couple time, stretching out her tired body. 

“Was it really that tiring cheating on me? You don’t feel invigorated after being edgy and rebellious?”

Kyoko whipped around to look at Sho, who seemed positively murderous. He loomed over Kyoko, whose back was pressed against the cold door. His torn black shirt hung of his frame and she could see his lightning bolt tattoo underneath.

 **Three Years Ago…**  
“Come on Sho! All rock stars have tattoos, you should get one too! I knooow you’ve wanted one since we were 15.” Kyoko clung to his arm while bouncing, like a happy monkey. The two of them stood in front of a tattoo parlor during a bright summer day.  
“Kyoko, we don’t really have the budget for that right now. It’s okay, you should save that money for your tampons or something. You’ve needed those since you were 14.”  
A blush rose quickly to Kyoko’s cheeks as she slapped the arm she held onto, playfully.  
“Sho!”  
He laughed and she huffed loudly, as he spun her and wrapped his arms around her.  
“It’s okayyyy. Being a rock star is about the music, not the look.”  
“Sho! Just get one! You know you want to… Think of it as a celebratory gift for us moving into the big city, okay?” She laid a hand on his chest and grinned up at him.  
“Okay, okay, if it’s that important to you, I’ll get a tattoo. What should I get?”  
“How about a guitar? Or some music notes? Oh! What about a giant pudding cup?”  
Kyoko and Sho laughed with their arms around each other as they entered the tattoo parlour. Kyoko’s summer dress billowed around her as the air rushed past them. Sho’s eyes caught on a design in an open book of tattoo art.  
“That one. That’s the one, Kyoko.”  
She looked in the direction he pointed, and saw a lightning bolt.  
“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

 **Modern Day…**  
Sho’s tattoo had been the first part of himself he’d changed for his future rock star persona. At first it had seemed out of place and Kyoko would giggle whenever she kissed it. But, from then on, Kyoko had watched everyday as Sho fit his tattoo more and more. As his personality changed little by little, growing out of his old country-boy clothes and into the style of the city and rockstar wardrobes she saw in magazines, the TV and on the internet. She’d had to watch as he’d grown out of the boy who loved her as a friend, then a girlfriend, into a man who loved her only as much as he deigned to spare his time.  
_Does that still count as love?_

“I- We- It isn’t what you think, Sho! We were just playing make-believe with Kenny and got too caught up in it.”  
He took another step closer to her and put his hands beside her head, caging her in his arms. The thick tension of the room surrounded Kyoko, choking her.

“Okay fine. Let’s say I believe that bullshit story. How are you going to make it up to me?”  
Kyoko was at a loss for words and in desperation reached for his shirt collar, pulled him down and kissed him. She tried to force all her feelings for him into that kiss. Their lips pressed together for a couple moments, and when she finally let him go she was distraught to see his eyes cold and… passionless.

“That’s all? Is that what you do now? Go around kissing people to fix your problems?”

Sho’s monotone voice punched Kyoko in the gut. She’d kissed him with all her feelings and clearly it hadn’t been enough for him.

Kyoko laid a hand right over his lightning bolt tattoo and pushed him back a step.  
“That’s enough Sho. Today what happened was an accident- let’s just put it behind us okay?”

“Give me your phone, then. I’ll delete his number off of it.”  
Kyoko blinked at him. Then slowly reached into her purse and grabbed her cellphone which Sho yanked out of her hands roughly. Without flinching, he swiped aside her lockscreen of the two of them smiling together with his first guitar between them. Thinking back, Kyoko saw that image as a representation of their relationship. Music- Sho’s dream had always been between them. First as a bridge, and now as a barrier. 

><><><><

“Thanks for helping out the other day, Ren! I hope the children didn’t overwhelm you guys too much… The kids are great but they can definitely be a handful.” Kanae chuckled. She sipped at her green tea slowly while Ren replied. 

“Don’t worry, the kids were wonderful. I had a blast helping out- my day there was a much needed break from uni. Mogami was especially helpful. Anyone can tell all the children really love having her there.”

“Just the children?” Kanae leaned back in her green chair and tilted her head up at Ren with a smirk and single lifted eyebrow. Ren sighed and dragged a hand down his face as he sat down on one of the other small plastic chairs in the daycare’s break room. His was purple, much like the colour of panic? Or was it fear? From the movie “Inside Out” the daycare kids had watched yesterday.

_My purple dude is going haywire right now. I can feel it._

“It’s not like that.”

“Mmhmm?” Kanae’s joking expression turned flat. “Ren you’re seriously going to try and tell me _to my face_ that you didn’t find Mogami Kyoko, the sweetest, most hardworking girl I’ve ever met, cute?”

“Kanae, she has a boyfriend.”

“That piece of crap? Come on Ren, you and I both know he’s no competition for you.” She flung her long black hair dramatically over one of her shoulders. “Besides, I’ve known Kyoko for over two years and I swear I’m watching her fall out of love with him more and more every few months.” 

“What do you mean, ‘every few months’?” Ren folded his arms across his chest.

“Well, she always has relapses. He treats her like crap for awhile and I think she’ll really get away that time and then he does one kind thing for her.” Kanae held up a single index finger to emphasize her point. “He says a couple nice words, reminds her of one of their fucking precious childhood memories,” Her eyes rolled as she reached for her cup once more. “and then I have to watch Kyoko be sucked in all over again.” She took a long sip from her mug.

“They’ve been together for years!?” Ren’s eyes were wide and alarmed.

“Who’s been together for years?”

Simultaneously, Kanae’s mug slammed down and Ren banged his knee on one of the table legs. Thinking fast Ren quickly said, “Me and Kanae’s families.”

Unfortunately, at the same time, Kanae said, “Nobody!”

They both turned to glare at one another. Kyoko glanced back and forth between them and laughed.

“Okay… Well in any case, I brought some waffles if you guys want some.” She put down her lavender purse on the table, reached in, and took out a container that, indeed, revealed 4 heavenly smelling waffles. Strangely, neither Ren nor Kanae reached for them. Kyoko began to slowly close the container as she looked questioningly at them. “Oh, did you guys already have breakfast?”

Kanae reached out and put a hand on Kyoko’s. “Kyoko, I’ll eat it; they smell delicious. But,” Ren watched as Kyoko stiffened slightly. “You only ever make waffles for Sho. And you told me that Sho never stays in the morning long enough for you to make him breakfast anymore.” Now it was Ren’s turn to stiffen. “So, what happened this morning?” 

Kyoko looked down and her long black hair fell in front of her face, obscuring her expression from view. When she looked up, Ren saw a plastic mask of joy on her face. It was a frozen expression, like someone had copy and pasted the smile emoji on Kyoko’s head and it was horrifying, to say the least. Ren and Kanae glanced at each other, both with wide eyes and scrunched up eyebrows.

“Why, Sho stayed for breakfast! That’s what happened and that’s why I have these delicious waffles to share with you guys! I’m so _happy_! It’s been so, so, long since he had time to eat breakfast with me in the morning and today-” Kyoko’s mask cracked for a moment. For a millisecond, the corners of her mouth drooped as she faltered in her words. “Today he did and so today I have waffles! And now you have waffles! Now I’m going to go outside and set up!” With that, Kyoko slammed the container down on the table, dislodging Kanae’s grip on her wrist and strided out of the break room. Ren glanced at Kanae who stared in the direction Kyoko had gone.

“Ren, go get Kyoko back in here.”

He didn’t need to be told a second time. He didn’t know how, but he felt in his heart- in his gut- in all the little guys that ran around in his head according to Pixar, that Mogami should not be left alone. He was worried about her. He walked out of the break room and saw Mogami sitting on the carpet, with her knees folded in front of her chest, holding the giraffe from yesterday; the one that had been missing an eye and called “Electro-man”,outstretched in front of her.

“Mogami, Kanae wants to talk to you.”

She jumped up and placed the giraffe on top of the toy box. Took a deep breathe and when she turned to Ren, her mask was back on. 

“Okay!” she said with a cheery smile. When she walked past Ren, he couldn’t help himself and grabbed her wrist gently. 

“You don’t have to put a mask on like that. Both Kanae and I want to listen to your troubles and help you, if you’re willing to let us.”

“What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine. I’m more than fine, I’m happy!” Kyoko pulled her wrist from his hand. “I’m happy, okay?” She walked to the break room, and with her back turned to him, said for a final time, “I’m happy.”

_Who are you trying to convince?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been over a year since I last updated hahahahahha sorry guys <3


	4. As Hot as a Bowl of Miso Soup

Kyoko re-entered the breakroom and took a seat in front of Kanae who had her arms folded across her chest. Ren would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about Kyoko, so he entered as well and figured he might as well be useful and pulled some grapes out of the fridge. 

“Did you enjoy the waffles, Moko?”

Ren leaned against the counter and watched them both, rolling up his sleeves. He saw Kyoko glance up at him briefly, down at his… forearms? And then quickly back to Kanae. 

“Kyoko, something is up with you and I’m worried.” Kanae said calmly.

“It’s really nothing-”

“Kyoko if you don’t tell me, there won’t be any hamburger patties at the daycare’s summer barbeque this year.”

Kyoko gasped loudly and her smile-emoji-mask finally cracked. “No!”

Kanae leaned forward, clasping her hands on the table with a poker face. “Yes.”

Ren wasn’t certain he was meant to hear this conversation, but they hadn’t asked him to leave, so he turned around and began washing the grapes for the daycare kids’ snack later today. He listened as Kyoko told Kanae about how when she’d woken up to Sho still in bed beside her this morning, she’d gotten up to make him breakfast. While Sho showered, his phone, that had been lying on the kitchen counter, had gotten a notification saying that his manager had sent him an image. Thinking that it was a picture of Sho’s top secret new album, Kyoko had tried to unlock his phone to see it. Although Sho had changed his password (at the time Kyoko hadn’t realized why) Kyoko had still been able to solve it after just two tries. Upon unlocking it, she’d seen the picture of his manager’s breasts.

“He’s cheating on you.”

“Well, no! I mean it makes sense he would be curious about another woman’s breasts... Not that he’s ever _seen_ mine, but we’ve been dating since we were 15 years old. They must have been exchanging them for… science! Out of curiosity! For science and knowledge.” Kyoko finished with a weak smile.

“Kyoko, he is cheating on you. How many times do I need to say it for you to get it through you skull. You said you read the messages too. What did they say?” 

Kyoko blushed, and look down at her hands. “Words. They said words.”

“Kyoko, the hamburger patties. It’s still in my power to revoke them. You know that right?”

Ren glanced over his shoulder, back at Kanae. There was no way that would work a second time; that threat had already been used to get Kyoko’s mask to break and reveal the dick/tit pics. There was no way-

“OKAY OKAY OKAY!!!” Kyoko was visibly distraught.

_Nevermind._ He wiped his hands on a towel and turned his body so it was half facing them, as he began sorting the green grapes from the red grapes. After all, he had the time; children are picky eaters; and he wanted an excuse to stay there just a bit longer.

“They… said… basically just words where they described to each other… very graphically… what they wanted to… do.. To each other…” Kyoko looked down at her hands, that were clasped together in her lap. “Sho came out from the bathroom so I didn’t read anymore of the messages. I don’t even think I wanted to. I was just in shock and disgusted and my fingers kept scrolling up on their own.”

Kanae gazed at Kyoko coolly, then asked, “So when are you dumping him? I’ll throw you a party. You can move in with me. Unless you’re kicking him out of the apartment?” 

Ren watched Kyoko from the corner of his eye, who snapped out of her trance.

“I’m not breaking up with him!”

_Why the fuck not??_

“Why not?” Kanae asked, much less aggressively.

“Sho and I have such a long history… We’ve been together for so long, I don’t want this one obstacle to ruin our relationship. And, I love him.”

“Still? You still love him? And Kyoko, what relationship? You guys never talk. He treats you like crap. He’s sexting another woman. He-”

“Kanae, please, just leave it. I’ll confront him on my own. I want to at least _try_ talking to him about this first.”

Kanae sighed and Ren did too, albeit internally. “Okay, Kyoko. It’s your life.”

Kyoko looked up and smiled, with a slight shine on her eyes; the only show of sadness she had about this whole affair. 

“Thank you.”

><><><

Kyoko felt a rush of air from the automatic doors pass over her as she entered the library. The library had only opened 10 minutes ago, so it was still fairly empty. Ren smiled at her from their table, and she grinned back, walking quickly over to him. She dropped into the seat in front of him and took off her fleece lined denim jacket revealing her thick white sweater underneath. The sweater was much too baggy for her and hung loosely over her black leggings. Completing her cozy winter look were the colourful socks Ren had bought her this past christmas that peeked out from her ankle-high black boots. 

“Sorry! Did you wait long?”

Ren slid his cup of coffee over to her. “No, not at all.”

“Oh it’s okay, Ren!” She brought out her tall silver thermos and opened it for him to smell her green tea. “I brought my own drink.” She raised the thermos to her lips and took a long sip, then yelped. “Oh! That’s still too hot..” A couple drops of her green tea dribbled out from the bottom right corner of her lips. 

“Are you okay?” Ren asked, as he grabbed a napkin and leaned over the table to wipe the liquid from her face. 

Kyoko paused and looked Ren in his eyes, a bit startled by his sudden proximity. 

“Yeah- Yeah, I’m okay now.”

Ren smirked and yanked her purple toque off her head, mussing up her hair. “Okay then.”

“Hey!” Kyoko huffed and began combing through her hair with her fingers. 

Ren sat back down in his chair. “When is your tutee arriving?” 

She checked her watch. “In about half an hour, if he isn’t late.”. Kyoko many incentives to arrive early to her tutoring sessions, even if it did mean less sleep. Firstly, it meant she had more time to review the concepts she’d be helping her tutee with. Secondly, if her tutee arrived early, then they could finish faster, and she could go home more quickly as well. Lastly, it meant she got to spend more time with Tsuruga Ren. Her friend. (And only that.)

“Today it’s Hiou, right? The grumpy one that has a crush on Kanae?”

Kyoko laughed as she began laying the books and pencil case from her purse onto the table. _Their_ table. After her and Ren had met 9 months ago, they’d become fast friends (much to Sho’s displeasure). She thought of their friendship as inevitable and invaluable; since their first day at the daycare together, they’d clicked. After he’d overheard her and Kanae’s conversation, any kind of walls she’d kept up around herself for the sake of propriety had pretty much fallen over like a tower made of cards. He’d already found out about Sho’s two-timing and her ever-persistent love for Sho. The former was shoved into the innermost, darkest chamber of her heart. The latter, she wore on her sleeve. She considered everything else emotional filler in her person. There hadn’t really been a point in concealing that from him, especially since he was so easy to talk to- to be with. Not to mention the fact that it was so _difficult_ to make friends in Tokyo when she was working her butt off at three separate jobs. Why reject companionship when it was so easy? From their first day at the daycare together, Ren had begun showing up there more and more. Sometimes helping out because he had the spare time, other times working on his university papers in their little breakroom because the small space “helped him focus”. Kyoko had called him out on that straight away. 

**Five months ago…**  
“Studying here isn’t a problem for me, really. It helps me focus. At home I get distracted too easily.”

Kyoko put her hand on her hips and looked down at Ren who had books and papers spread out over the breakroom table. “Ren, you’ve taken two Advils already. You no doubt have a headache from the childrens’ screaming and you being here is not only a hindrance to your studies-”

“It really isn’t-”

Kyoko glared at him. “-but did you ever consider the fact that it could be a bother to the other employees?”

Ren paled and opened his mouth, but Kyoko raised a hand and he stopped.

“I work here everyday Monday to Friday and occasionally the weekends too. Neither I, nor Kanae mind you studying here. In fact, I really enjoy your company.” Kyoko saw his eyes widen, and smiled. “I’m not sure how much Kanae does, though.” Ren huffed out a laugh. “I only brought this up because I won’t be here anymore on weekends. I’ve finally been able to get more tutees and I’ve paid off the debt from Sho’s car, so I’m quitting my third job. I don’t know how kindly the other daycare employees will take to having their break room hogged by a uni student,”

_Even if that student is as hot as a steaming bowl of newly cooked miso soup._

“So I have a proposition for you.” Ren raised an eyebrow silently, and Kyoko mockingly raised one in return. His eyes crinkled at the corners, a faint indication of his mirth. “I help your education and health by working with you at the library, instead of this zoo, and having lunch with you afterwards. You help me, by giving me peace of mind.” Kyoko watched his face, trying to gauge his feelings from his reaction.

He leaned forward, crinkling his notes under his elbows and clasped his hands together. His toned forearms were showed off by his rolled up sleeves, and this image was definitely _not_ doing good things for Kyoko’s peace of mind. Ren smirked.

_The Emperor of Night has re-emerged…_

“I didn’t realize I was on your mind to the point that hanging out with you on weekends is necessary for its peace.”

Kyoko flushed and spluttered. “No! That’s not what I meant-” She began glancing around the room frantically, looking anywhere but his eyes as she backed slowly towards the door. “I get peace of mind knowing that the other employees aren’t being bothered! Not that I don’t worry about you- Not that I do worry about you a lot either!” 

Ren’s chair scraped against the floor and his laughter rang in Kyoko’s ears, like the chime of a doorbell she was always eager to push. He walked towards Kyoko and looked down at her, taking her hands in his larger ones. “Kyoko, I would love to.”. She blushed even harder at the word ‘love’, as if someone had put a lightbulb in each of her cheeks.

“Well then I’ll see you this Saturday at the library?” She looked up at him, only to see a gaze so warmly directed towards her she was surprised she didn’t melt into a puddle of goo, right then and there. Her eyes slid- no, _swerved_ violently away from that warmth to look down at the floor.

_My heart cannot bear this. I shouldn’t be bearing this. Why be conscious of this man, when I have Sho?_

“Of course. I’ll be there, bright and early.”

Her heart stuttered. 

**Present day…**

Kyoko’s led broke when she saw Ren passed out on the library table. His large back slowly rising and falling in time with his breaths. 

_Nobody should have the right to be that attractive._

“Not even your precious Sho?”

Kyoko whirled around to see a short boy with black hair wearing a large red puffy snow jacket, baggy jeans, expensive basketball shoes, and an annoyingly smug smile.

“Hiou! Come sit down!” She smiled at him, while internally cursing herself and her big mouth. 

“Don’t worry, you didn’t say anything out loud, you’re just a _really_ open book.” He walked to Kyoko’s side and dropped into his chair, practically swimming in his jacket. It appeared as if he was wearing his very own red life raft. Not life jacket- it was definitely a whole raft.

Kyoko held back a snort as she asked him, “Open book? But you weren’t even looking at me. How could you have seen my expression?”

“I don’t need to see your expression, Kyoko. You’re just too obvious about everything.”

“So obviously you must know that I have a boyfriend whom I love, right?” She replied with a bit more force than necessary. Hiou scowled.

“Yeah, sure. You should dump him.”

Kyoko sighed and told him to take out his textbook and homework. That was a phrase Kyoko commonly heard from Hiou, Kanae and Amamiya. Oddly though, she never heard it from Ren. She always wondered why he never said it to her. After all, he’d heard the firsthand account of what Sho had done. Kyoko wasn’t about to lie and say his two-timing was _okay_ , but she’d already confronted Sho about it. He’d promised to never do it again, then apologized by bringing her his new album, complete with its limited edition poster. She’d forgiven him, and they’d moved on. 

“I don’t really understand how to solve these questions. The formula is a bit confusing.”

Hiou’s question drew Kyoko out of her mind and back to the library.

“So for this formula…” And so went her next 90 minutes. At 11:30 Hiou checked his watch and glanced up at Kyoko. 

“Are you having lunch with Ms. Kotonami, today?”

Kyoko offered him a small smile. “No, sorry Hiou. Next weekend I will, though.”

Hiou blushed. “Whatever. It’s fine. I didn’t really care anyway.” He stood up and began collecting his things, and Kyoko did the same for both her and Ren’s belongings, since he was still passed out cold.

Kyoko laughed outright at Hiou’s denial and forced apathy. “Come on Hiou, I thought we were better friends than that! You don’t have to lie to me.” She raised her eyebrows up and down twice, while grinning. The poor kid had developed the most adorable crush on Moko during her second week of tutoring Hiou. She’d been pretty sure he’d only showed up to tell her that he “appreciated her help, but felt that her tutoring techniques didn’t fit…” or something, but when Moko had dropped by to confirm their lunch appointment together, Hiou’s jaw had dropped. Kyoko had always known that Moko was for sure, hands-down, one of the most elegant and beautiful woman in the world, but Hiou’s reaction had still been hilarious. So, to help Hiou’s romantic feelings along, and perhaps even her bank account, Kyoko had invited Hiou to have lunch with them. He’d said yes (of course) and had continued coming to Kyoko for help. He’d still been a grump, though. He’d sass Kyoko and was downright foul towards her sometimes when he’d had a bad morning. In the end though, Hiou admits that Kyoko is a good tutor, and Kyoko gets good money so she never holds any of his words against him. Strangely though, after Ren had accepted her proposition, one morning when Hiou had been particularly rude, she’d left to the washroom to calm herself down and stop herself from decapitating the little twerp. When she’d returned to the library table though, Hiou had been strangely formal and polite. He hadn’t said a single rude or even slightly snarky comment to her for the rest of the tutoring session. Afterwards when she’d asked Ren about it, he’d shrugged and merely said, “I guess he grew up in the 5 minutes you were gone.”. Hiou’s sassiness and boyish snark always returned in full force when Ren was absent, or was asleep, like now. Kyoko knew that Ren had told Hiou off about his behaviour, but since it hadn’t scarred Hiou, and only resulted in Hiou being a bit more reserved around Ren, Kyoko had let it slide. Now, months later, Hiou and Ren were much more comfortable with each other and every few tutoring sessions Hiou was even able to make quips at Ren or herself that would result in Ren laughing. 

_Now I just have to make sure they don’t end up ganging up on me._

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, woman. I didn’t lie.” Hiou said with a defiant glare, crossing his arms across his chest. Ren shifted in his sleep and Hiou glanced over at him, relaxing when he realized Ren was still asleep. “In any case, I’ll get going. Wouldn’t want to keep you and Mr.Tsuruga from your lunch date too long.”

Now it was Kyoko’s turn to blush. “D-Date? It’s not a date Hiou! It’s just this time that Moko isn’t with us.”

Hiou turned around and began walking out of the library, waving a lazy hand over his shoulder. “Whatever you say. But it has been a loooong time since it hasn’t been just you two. ”

Kyoko clenched her fists and glanced back at Ren, feeling a stab of guilt. Ren groaned and lifted his head from his arms that doubled as his pillows, apparently. He blinked blearily and met Kyoko’s startled gaze.

“You’re up!”

“Am I? Am I really?” He groaned and let his head drop back onto his arms, mumbling, “How long was I out for?

“Long enough that it’s lunch time now.”

“Ugh…… I didn’t get any studying done.”

Kyoko walked around the table and stood behind him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him gently. 

“You won’t get any done at all if we don’t break for lunch. Come on, I’m hungry…”

Ren turned his head to look at Kyoko, who shook him a bit harder. “Come on!”

“Fine…” Kyoko released him, stepping back as Ren turned in his chair. He then raised both his arms out in front of him like a seated zombie. “Help me up.”

Kyoko sighed, but stepped forward grasped his hands, pulling him up. He stood with a groan and Kyoko smiled at his sleep-mussed hair, resisting the urge to comb her fingers through it. 

“Okay let’s go!” She let go of one of his hands to grab both their bags and then began pulling him out the library. It took a good minute for her to realize that one of her hands was still tucked warmly, comfortably, and _unforgivably_ in Ren’s. Kyoko gasped and dropped his hand, like it was a moldy sandwich. She shoved his bag at his chest and glanced up at his face quickly, then away, visibly shaken. He was looking at her with a soft, but indecipherable expression.

“Let’s.. Let’s go!” Kyoko ended with a weak attempt at the excited tone she’d had earlier. 

“Yeah, let’s get going.” Ren walked past her and shouldered his messenger bag. 

Kyoko took a deep breath, then turned to catch up to Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer: I will be switching between Ren and Kyoko's POVs. I know I'm using like 4 names for Kotonami Kanae in this fic so just to clarify: in the beginning, Kyoko called her Ms.Kotonami for the sake of professionalism, but they are friends so in her head Kyoko still uses her nickname Moko. Tsuruga is Kanae's cousin so he calls her cousin.   
> TL;DR: Ms.Kotonami = Moko = Kanae = Kotonami Kanae
> 
> Also I work in bursts lol but I will try and finish this fic before the end of the summer. I really want to complete my first fic! Constructive criticism is welcome


	5. As Neglected as Lunch

They walked side by side, with just enough space between them so their arms wouldn’t brush. Kyoko rubbed her hands together as they walked, because despite the fact that they were gloved, she could still feel a chill. She huffed loudly, attempting to warm them with her breath. “Do you have a big test coming up?”

Ren glanced down at Kyoko, whose question had been slightly muffled by her hands that were still in front of her face. She looked up at him, with raised eyebrows and white clouds of breath puffing out from between her fingers.

“Unfortunately, yes. Does Hiou have a big test coming up? It feels like you two have more tutoring sessions together lately.”

“Haaa…” Kyoko breathed loudly. “He does have a big test coming up, but I think my number of sessions with him have only gone up because he wants a higher chance of seeing Moko.” Kyoko’s eyes crinkled at the corners, the only indication of the grin Ren knew was hiding behind the cupped hands in front of her face.

Ren’s own hands were currently tucked into the pockets of his long, thick black coat. He eyed Kyoko’s purple-gloved hands and was imagining grabbing them and tucking them into his pockets. A win-win situation; both their hands would be warmed, and he would have an excuse to hold her hand. Unfortunately, it was also a very _non-platonic_ friend thing to do. And Kyoko was still, very, horribly, _non-platonically_ devoted to Sho. 

Ren’s fantasies and their walk to the lunch restaurant were both interrupted by Kyoko’s phone ringing. They halted as Kyoko fumbled with her purse to pull her phone out. She finally jerked it out her purse with a gleeful, “A-ha!” but her grin faltered once she saw the caller ID. She glanced at Ren, who had a carefully blank look on his face as he opened his hand for Kyoko. She took off one of her gloves and placed it in Ren’s outstretched palm with a whispered thanks. Her bare thumb slid across the screen and they resumed their walk as she answered the phone. 

“Hi Sho!”

Ren cringed at the reminder of Sho’s existence. Phone calls like this were expected, but still annoying. Irking. Infuriating. For the millionth time he reminded himself that he was Kyoko’s friend and had no right to feel these emotions. She wasn’t a possession. She didn’t belong to him. He wished briefly that he was shorter, so it would be easier to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“What? The whole weekend?” Kyoko asked sharply. She stopped walking. Her brows furrowed in irritation, before quickly smoothing out as her face of indifference emerged, like a shell from the sand when the ocean recedes. “What about clothes- Oh okay. Did you pack some of the food I made last night? It’s in the fridge, the fish you like- Oh, of course. Yeah. Okay. See you in a couple days then! Have fun! Don’t tire yourself-” Kyoko’s false cheer was cut off by the dial tone when Sho hung up. 

Ren turned back around to look at her. Kyoko was staring at her phone, that still had Sho’s caller ID on the screen. It was a picture of a younger looking Sho, fast asleep with the most relaxed and angelic look on his face. Kyoko’s face on the other hand, at the moment was anything but relaxed and angelic. It was only blank, like stone. 

“Kyoko? Are you alright?” Ren asked tentatively.

“What? Oh yeah I’m great!” She gave Ren a wide, fake smile and a thumbs up with her still bare thumb. Ren sighed and walked towards her, grabbing her hand. Kyoko watched Ren, wordless and shaken, like a carpet had been yanked from her feet. Their hands were brushing against each other. His hands warmed hers with gentle touches and tugs as he pulled her glove back on slowly.

_This feeling again. This was the feeling I had the night Ren kissed me. When I wanted to call him, but Sho deleted his number from my phone. This feeling…_

Kyoko blinked twice, still staring at Ren. “Do you…” Ren dropped Kyoko’s hand and took a step back, but the distance didn’t do much. Their closeness in that moment had already reminded Kyoko too much of their shared kiss, all those months ago. The re-emerging feeling in her chest felt like tasting a dish you’d eaten once, but had forgotten the taste of, until finally stumbling on it once more, years later. She refused to identify the feeling. “Do you want to come back to my apartment?”

Ren blinked at her. “I’m sorry? What did you just say?” 

Kyoko blushed and started waving her hands wildly in front of herself. “It’s just that if you come over we won’t have to spend money on lunch! My apartment is nearby anyway!”

Ren’s brain had short-circuited just a bit. Actually, a lot. He wondered if smoke was leaving his ears. He thought about how Kyoko had said, _‘my apartment’_ , and not ‘me and Sho’s apartment’. That thought, that distance Kyoko had put between her and Sho was what finally got Ren to snap back to reality and say, “Let’s go!”

Kyoko smiled tentatively at his words. “Okay, great!”

The afternoon sun gave the city a cold glow as it reflected off the small piles of snow on the sidewalks. The snow had started It had snowed a little bit during their time in the library, but luckily hadn’t melted into slush yet. Kyoko and Ren crossed an intersection instead of continuing straight to their usual college-kid-affordable diner. “You’ve never been to my apartment before, right?”

“No, I haven’t.” Ren replied with a headshake.

“Well I’m really glad you’re coming over today. Sho just told me he’s heading out this weekend for some more photoshoots. I made one of his favourite dishes, but since he won’t be at my apartment for a couple days, I’ll need some help to eat it before it goes bad.”

Again, Ren notes how she says ‘at my apartment’. Not that Sho ‘won’t be home’ or ‘won’t be at our apartment’ but Kyoko’s apartment. Hers and hers alone. Alone. How much had Sho been neglecting her? How much longer would Kyoko allow herself to be strung along? Ren felt a familiar frustration lighting in the pit of his stomach, warming his entire body with an angry flush. He took a deep breathe to calm himself.

“Ren? You okay?” Kyoko grabbed the edge of Ren’s sleeve, stopping him in his tracks. He hadn’t realized his walking pace had increased, as if out-walking his anger was possible. He breathed deeply. Again. 

“Yeah I’m good.” He smiled gently at her, but it didn’t fully meet his eyes.

Kyoko sensed that he was angry, but she couldn’t determine why. Hopefully he’s just hungry, she thought to herself as she smiled back reflexively. “Well we’re here.”

Ren looked up at the 6-story white apartment. It was had a modern-hipster vibe to it, with a brick base and little garden plots in the front. The trees stood tall in the winter setting, decorated with fairy lights in place of their usual green leaves. Ren followed Kyoko into the building and was surprised when she walked directly past the elevator to the staircase. He didn’t say anything until the fourth floor. “How long has your elevator been out of order?”

Kyoko turned around and looked at Ren. “What do you mean? The elevator’s working fine. Oh!” Her eyes widened, “I’m so sorry I completely forgot! Here let’s go take the elevator right now-” She tried to step past Ren but he put his arm out and blocked her way.

“It’s fine.” He sighed, sleep-deprived, hungry, and still a little annoyed about Sho’s phone call but hey, he was spending time with Kyoko. He was going into her apartment for the first time and if her choice of words was anything to go by, her and Sho have been distancing from each other more and more these past couple months. He wasn’t actually upset, just tired. “It’s okay, we’re already on level four anyway.” He smiled up at Kyoko’s guilt-stricken face. 

Kyoko groaned and turned around to continue trudging up the stairs. “I’m so so _so_ sorry Ren… It’s just force of habit. Sho and I always take the stairs.”

“Really? All these stairs? Always?”

“Yeah, always. Sho likes to keep up his ‘bod’.” Kyoko rolled her eyes even though Ren couldn’t see.

“What, does he carry you up the stairs after your 16 hour work days too?”

Kyoko snorted. “As if! No, Sho has to carry up his guitar.” Kyoko turned back towards Ren for a second time and slapped her thigh. “These leg muscles didn’t form out of thin air!” 

Ren eyed her long legs, observing her calves and thighs. Between biking everywhere; the running around she did at the daycare; walking (and sometimes sprinting if she was late) up and down her building’s staircase everyday, Kyoko’s legs were rather toned. Not to mention the fact that she occasionally joined Moko or Ren at the gym too when her work schedule allowed. She only spared the money to go to the gym because she’d realized that exercise was essential to her health and she needed to not be sick, if she wanted to be able to pay her and Sho’s rent every month. Ren knew that and now took the time to admire her calves, thighs, and butt. His eyes continued their slow journey up until it hit Kyoko’s very red face. He smirked and Kyoko spun around and wrenched the door to the 6th floor open.

“After you.” Kyoko couldn’t even look Ren in his eyes as she held the door open for him. She didn’t know what she’d do if she did- slap him, yell at him, or the worst possibility: kiss him.

 _Damn Emperor of the Night at it again._  
The first time the Emperor of Night had emerged had been during a dinner at Moko’s place, about two weeks after Kyoko had seen evidence of Sho’s two-timing. Moko and Kyoko had cooked dinner together, on account of Ren’s abominable cooking skills. Ren had provided dessert with his finance-based ‘baking skills’. Towards the end of the meal Moko had excused herself to take a phone call. Kyoko and Ren’s conversation had somehow turned towards Sho and Kyoko’s sleeping arrangement.

 **8.5 months ago…**  
“Hold on, you two don’t share a room? But you’ve been dating for years- and you’re childhood friends. I would have thought no boundaries existed between you guys by now.”

“Of course we don’t share a room! I’ve always worried it would give Sho _ideas_ ” Kyoko blushed.

Ren blinked twice. And then it clicked. “You mean ideas about-”

“In any case, Sho knows I’m saving _it_ for our wedding night. I couldn’t share a room with him. I wouldn’t want to share one with Sho anyway. He always either hogs all the blankets or kicks them off the bed.”

Ren’s expression froze. “So you won’t share a bedroom with him, but you’ve definitely shared a bed with him before.”

Kyoko took a sip of her tea as she waved her hand in the air. “No, not like that. We shared a bed when we were like, six years old. I still remember: it was winter and I had to spend the entire night shivering.” 

Ren smirked and leaned in towards Kyoko, who across the table, was leaning in as well to put her teacup down. When they met in the middle, Ren whispered into Kyoko’s ear with a husky voice, “If you and I shared a bed, I could have you shivering all night from something other than cold.”. Kyoko dropped her tea into its saucer loudly and felt her face flame again. Her pulse thudded and she looked up at Ren, shocked. He leaned back into his seat with a smirk she would learn to recognise. A smirk she could never decide if she wanted to run from or kiss. 

**Modern Day**  
Ren sighed, irritated with himself.  
 _Great, you fucking predator. You’ve freaked her out right after she invited you into her apartment for lunch._  
He turned around, prepared to apologise when Kyoko walked up to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her height. His breath caught in his chest, suddenly very much face-to-face with Kyoko. He had flashbacks to the one kiss they’d shared almost a year ago. The kiss he’d been sustaining in his memory- the kiss that had been sustaining him. He watched as Kyoko licked her lips and felt her warmth when she leaned in and whispered, “I will not make you any more jello if you do that again.”

Then she let go and laughed as she practically skipped to her front door, clearly pleased to finally have gotten the chance shake Ren up a little bit.

“Oh come on, don’t go after the jello!” Ren groaned as he leaned on the wall next to her door, smiling faintly.

“Then don’t go after me like that!” Kyoko giggled. “You were looking at my legs like they were lamb chops or some kind of new rosetta stone, you food-deprived language nerd.”

Ren laughed as he walked into Kyoko’s apartment and took off his shoes. “I am not food-deprived, just very selective of what I eat.”

“You don’t even eat, Ren.”

“Well then what am I doing in your apartment?”

“Keeping me company until I shove food down your throat.” Kyoko replied with her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, yeah. Where should I put my coat?”

Kyoko grabbed Ren’s large coat and hung it over one of the dining chairs. Ren looked around Kyoko’s apartment, grinning. Or rather than ‘around’, he looked _in_ to her apartment, as it was kind of shaped like a long hallway with rooms coming out from the sides. There was a dining/common area to his left with a round brown table, two chairs and a TV mounted on the wall. Coming out from the wall on his right was the kitchen and white fridge. At the end of the hallway, he could see a window that looked out to the city of Tokyo. 

Kyoko pulled a dish from the fridge and microwaved it as Ren set down his messenger bag on the ground beside the dining table. 

“Can I take a look around, Kyoko?”

“Go ahead. There’s not much to look at, though.”

Ren walked down the hallway and saw a neat bathroom to his left and what was clearly Sho’s bedroom to his right when he pushed open the door. The large bed was unmade and there were posters of other musicians hanging up on the walls. Ren spotted a bottle of beer on its side under the bed and several pairs of pants and shirts lying on the floor. A couple steps later, the narrow hallway opened up again and on his left was an electric keyboard, a guitar and some lyrics and sheets of music lying around. To his right was a giant pink curtain that Ren promptly pulled aside. Kyoko had said, “go ahead” after all. He was looking straight at Kyoko’s daycare shirt hanging off a peg in the wall. To the left he saw a single dresser with a neat pile of mail on top of it and a single bottle of concealer. Directly in front of him was a mattress, single in both size and quantity, on the floor with a plaid pink and white comforter on top. 

Ren froze and his entire body tensed. He walked quickly back down the hallway to where Kyoko was scooping rice out of the rice cooker.

“Hey Ren is this enough rice for-” She yelped when Ren grabbed her hand and put the rice scooper down. He pulled her down the hallway to where the pink curtain was still drawn aside.

“Is this where you sleep, Kyoko?!”

“Yeah, why?” she replied in a matter-of-fact tone that pissed Ren off.

He let go of her wrist to pinch the bridge of his nose as he breathed loudly. When he turned back to Kyoko, she almost flinched from the amount of anger radiating from Ren’s eyes as his gaze burned a hole to her soul.  
“What is this. Why do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? You pay for the rent of this apartment; you paid for Sho’s car; you handle all the bills; you cook; you do everything!! So why are _you_ the one sleeping on the floor.”

Kyoko took a tiny step back from Ren. She wasn’t afraid of him, but she knew that staying in close proximity to anger was always a dangerous choice. She remembered when Sho’s father would get mad and slap Sho across the face. Of course she didn’t think Ren would ever harm her, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

“It’s my apartment, and my decision. I choose to sleep here.”

“Why would you choose to sleep on the floor? It’s like you said Kyoko, it’s _your_ apartment so why should you be the one sleeping on the floor? Why should _you_ not have your own bedroom? Why do _you_ have to settle for the curtained off space?”

“What, is Sho supposed to sleep out here?” Kyoko scoffed and crossed her arms. A defensive position that did little to protect her from the weight of Ren’s glare.

“Yes, actually.” 

“No! He isn’t! You don’t understand Ren. This situation- I’m okay with it. I’m okay..”

“Nothing about this is okay Kyoko. When will you open your eyes and see? You’re so naive you can’t even see that you’re being used. Sho doesn’t care about you. Why don’t you see that?” They stared into each other’s eyes in a moment of tense silence.

“You can leave now.” Kyoko glares at him as she says these words. She shoves past him and grabs his coat from the chair and wrenches open the door. Ren is hot on her heels as he picks up his messenger bag and strides out the door, barely catching his coat when Kyoko chucks it out the door after him. She slams the door in his face and Ren walks to the elevator. His pace is slower than when he left Kyoko’s apartment, but his feet still hit the floor with more force than necessary. He is so angry and tired of Kyoko letting herself be treated like crap. She deserves the world; she deserves so much better than Sho. Ren knows he overstepped and definitely didn’t deliver his message in the right way, but goddammit if he needed to sacrifice their friendship so that Kyoko could move on and _away_ from Sho, he’d do it again in a heartbeat. 

Ren gets in the elevator and pulls out his phone, dialling Kanae.   
“Hello?”

“Hey Kanae,” Ren ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breathe, trying to relax his tense muscles to no avail. “Could you do me a favour and call Kyoko please? Lunch didn’t really work out today.”

“Wait, what do you mean it didn’t workout? Ren-”

“I’ll tell you later, okay? Thanks Kanae. Bye.” Ren hung up and walked out the elevator back into the cold winter air. He took a deep breathe and looked back once at Kyoko’s building, then walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing fanfic I'm so damn self-indulgent also none of my chapter titles really have to make sense to anyone but myself hahahahaha  
> In any case I hope yall enjoy reading this!


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